UPDATE: The below article was an April fools gag. Highlighted sections are anagrams of “April Fools Day”
TalkU2 is pleased to make two announcements this Easter weekend. First, we have a distinguished new contributor, Sally Fooripad, a former personal assistant to Edge’s guitar tech, Dallas Schoo. Sally’s history and personal connection to the band make her an excellent contributor. Welcome to TalkU2, Sally!
Sally shoots the breeze with Dallas, Athens 2010.
Secondly, Sally herself can tell you the special Easter gift we have from Dallas himself for each member. Take it away, Sally!
Sally Fooripad, TalkU2 contributor:
In the Easter spirit and to mark the 21st Anniversary of the POPMart tour (and to hint that U2 will be honoring their misunderstood masterpiece on the E&I tour starting next month), I am pleased to announce that all TalkU2 members will be the first to receive a free limited edition 21st anniversary U2 POPMart Easter Lemon, personally signed by Dallas Schoo himself. Let me explain:
First, id like to say it’s an honor to be here. I was a personal assistant to Dallas during the Vertigo and 360 tours, and we have kept in touch ever since. I have been a member at TalkU2 under a pseudonym since the beginning, and I chose not to reveal my close personal connection to the band at the time – but when Dallas made the Easter lemon offer, I couldn’t refuse. Originally from Ireland (my birth name is Sally O Brien), I lived in Vegas in the 1990’s, then went to India with my husband from 1999 to 2004, then went back to Vegas, where I applied for the best job in the world.
POPMart was the first U2 show I attended, and I was at the opening event 21 years ago in Sam Boyd Stadium. As U2 airplay floods the Nevada airwaves, I was introduced to a lifelong obsession that brought me to later apply for the job as Dallas’ assistant. My first interview task was to make him a salad. If poorly made, it was diligently served, and he employed me on the spot. Our first communications were tortured. He once asked me to dial a phone number for a music tech company called “fray loops” – he just asked me to “dial fray loops” and I said “What?” “Dial Fray loops.” “What?” “Would you please pick up the phone and dial fray loops music company?” We laughed as I finally understood. Got it. The next ten years were absolutely amazing.
Anyway, all these years later, Dallas and I remain friends and at my request he has personally signed 200 limited edition U2 Easter lemons. They look like giant lemon-colored Easter eggs, but with the bitter aftertaste of too much Boom Cha! Well, OK, that part is not true – they are actually chocolate easter eggs, 8 inches tall, with a horizontal opening across the center, all wrapped in lemon-colored POPMart-inspired wonderfulness. Opening the eggs reveals limited edition 22mm tall effigies of each band member, in POPMart/Village People attire, for those who just can’t get enough of that lovin’ dovin’ stuff. The set comes with a proportional track on which the Easter Lemon moves, and an escape hatch at the back in case the horizontal opening malfunctions and the band member effigies get stuck inside. There’s one for every forum member.
In honor of the personality of the forum, I managed to persuade Dallas to sign some personal touches to a few Easter Lemons. An Tha’s lemon will have the word “boom cha” replaced with “A mole digging in a hole”. ZeropartII and Amor Fati will receive a lemon with an orange wig, and inscribed with the words “make POP great again”. The Edge’s Cat’s Easter lemon will be filled with warm milk, and will be mailed to the Edge (you can’t send mail to cats, apparently). RiffRaff, PoppyAnn, VolcanoGirl and OnlyU2 will receive a word game insert. ShadowMac will receive a Lemon thanking her for setting up this forum.
The Easter Lemon will be put on sale on U2’s website tomorrow, Easter Sunday. To the general public, the cost will be $39 in the US. However, Dallas has agreed to send one to each TalkU2 member for free. Principle management / LiveNation will not allow us to show images of the Easter Lemon or give any additional details until tomorrow. At that time, TalkU2 will update this article and give you each instructions on how to claim your free limited edition 21st anniversary POPMart Easter Lemon.
Happy Easter and happy 21st anniversary of the greatest tour in history.